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Kristine Kochanski
This article is about '''Kristine Kochanski' from Series VII, VIII and IX. For Kristine Kochanski as she appears on Series I, II, and VI, visit Kristine Kochanski (Original).'' "How did I end up like this? On a ship where the fourth most popular pastime is going down to the laundry room and watching my knickers spin dry?" - Kristine Kochanski (RD: Duct Soup) Kristine Z. Kochanski is the navigation officer of the Red Dwarf. She first appeared in Series I of Red Dwarf, but was killed with the rest of the crew (except Dave Lister) during "The End", with Lister often hoping to be able to meet or revive her again. A parallel universe version of Kochanski became a full member of the crew during Series VII. She came from an alternate universe in which she discovers Dave Lister's pet cat, and confiscates her, but cannot bring herself to destroy her. As a result it is she, not Lister, who is sentenced to six months in stasis for bringing an unquarantined animal on board, and therefore she who survives the accident. After meeting with the Red Dwarf crew from our universe, she is forced to join the them after a series of bizarre accidents. In Back to Earth, set nine years after Series VIII, it is first presumed that she died in an accident involving an air-lock, but it is later admitted by Kryten that she actually left in a Blue Midget after growing despondent by Lister's own self-destructive behaviour, with Kryten lying to try and protect his feelings. Though being completely off-screen, she is often mentioned in Series X, with Lister seeking to find her again. Due to major divergences in her life experience and background, not to mention her previous relationship with Lister, she is considered a different character than the Kochanski who made fleeting appearances (played primarily by Clare Grogan, but also other actresses) in the first six seasons. Biography Kochanski is from the Gorbals (the trendiest part of 23rd century Glasgow), and had spent her childhood in "Cyberschool" with perfect computer-generated friends, and a pony named "Trumper", before entering Space Cadet School. In her universe, the alternate version of Kochanski discovered Lister's pregnant pet cat, Frankenstein, and confiscates her, but cannot bring herself to destroy her. As a result it is she, not Lister, who is sentenced to six months in stasis for bringing an unquarantined animal on board, and who therefore survives the radiation leak that killed the rest of the crew. She was discovered and frozen in stasis during the accident that wiped out the crew, as Lister was in our universe. Like Lister, she emerges from stasis millions of years later to find the crew wiped out and the ship far from home. Holly brings back her ex-boyfriend Lister as a hologram (as opposed to our world in which Rimmer was brought back with the express intent of providing Lister with conflict and thus keeping him sane). Initially a soft light hologram, this Lister is unable to touch, eat, or otherwise physically interact with his world. This apparently makes him mature, sensitive and cultured. When Lister gets a hard light drive (presumably from Legion, as Rimmer does in our universe), they rekindle their relationship. The unreconstructed Lister from the "main" universe comes as quite a shock. It is not clear what Cat and Kryten are like in her universe, but we can assume they are more sophisticated, as the alternate Kochanski seems unimpressed with their alternatives as well. At some point before season nine, Kochanski, feeling Lister is wasting his life away, leaves Red Dwarf to travel on her own. In order to protect Lister's feelings, Kryten creates the fiction that Kochanski is in fact dead, and for a long time after Lister would visit a gravestone in her memory set up by a window and read to it. After learning that she is in fact still alive, Lister makes it his ongoing mission to find her, which becomes a subplot of season ten. Aboard Red Dwarf In the seventh and eighth series of Red Dwarf, the alternate version of Kochanski from another dimension played by Chloë Annett became a permanent member of the crew, after Arnold Rimmer left. The writers insist she was not intended to replace Rimmer, but that Chris Barrie had asked to take a leave of absence at the same time as a female lead was required for the cast to be retained in the proposed Hollywood movie. Series eight, the final full-length series of Red Dwarf made so far, features both Kochanski and Rimmer (although a different incarnation, a resurrected form of his living self). Throughout series seven and eight, Kochanski remains with the crew, even when rejoined by Rimmer in series eight. After the halfway point of series seven, she seems to stop trying to find ways back to her own universe, and the entirety of series eight could be watched without gaining any hint she is from a parallel universe. Given that she comes from another universe, it is unclear how much she shares, personal history-wise, with the original Kochanski seen in the early seasons. Nicknames Officer Bud Babe. Kris. Krissie. Personality Unlike Dave Lister and Arnold Rimmer, Kristine Kochanski was born to wealthy parents and had a relatively carefree upbringing. She is classy if somewhat persnickety. After being trapped with the "Dwarfers" in their universe, the alternate Kochanski adds something of a new dynamic to the show. She is an upper-middle class female officer in what was a decidedly "laddish" environment. Much of the humour in her scenes comes from the difference between her frame of reference and that of the others. Although Annett lacks Grogan's Scottish accent, the series now reveals that she was from the Gorbals (apparently the trendiest part of 23rd century Glasgow), and had spent her childhood in "Cyberschool" with perfect computer-generated settings and perfect computer-generated friends and a pony named "Trumper" before entering Space Cadet School. The addition of Kochanski as a regular character in the show was met with mixed reactions from the fans; some loved the idea, some hated it. In either case, times were changing, and with Chris Barrie wanting a much smaller part in the show due to other commitments (the writers had to agree at the risk of losing him completely), another main character was needed. The writers felt that a woman was an interesting addition to the environment, especially since Kochanski had already been a minor character in the Red Dwarf canon since the first series. In many circumstances (and in fact Grogan's version of the character had at one point been earmarked to join the series as a second hologram regular for Series II), Kochanski was used by the writers to replace Kryten as the exposition character during the seventh and eighth series. Originally, it was suggested that Lister had loved Kochanski from afar, but never found the courage to ask her out. This was changed to them having had a relationship that ended before the accident in the novel Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers (she went back to her previous boyfriend Tim), and later episodes have followed that version. The events of "Stasis Leak", which had a future version of Lister (from roughly the timeframe of Series VII) go back through time and marry Kochanski, appear to have been forgotten, or perhaps lost in an alternate timeline due to the frequent messing about with time that occurred throughout the series. Skills Kochanski is a trained navigation officer. Likes and Dislikes Kochanski likes her version of Dave Lister, opera, Baths and cottage cheese with pineapple chunks, this version Dave Lister (Sometimes), Kryten (Series 8). She dislikes this version of Dave Lister (sometimes), The Cat, Kryten (Series 7), and being stuck on a ship with all of the above. She also hates showers. Quotes * "Let's at least ask someone who's at least going to give us a slightly more intelligent opinion. Hello, wall! What do you think?" (RD: Beyond a Joke) * "I mean I've tried to fit in I've really tried. I even learnt what offside meant." (RD: Duct Soup) Behind the Scenes * Chloë Annett was hired for Series VII, while Chris Barrie was on a leave of absence. However, Kochanski was not intended to replace Arnold Rimmer, and both characters appeared in Series VIII. Previously, the character was played by Clare Grogan, a Scottish actress. Kochanski's Scottish heritage is reaffirmed in Duct Soup, even though Annett is English. *According to some sources, the character of Kochanski was added in order to have a female lead in the proposed Red Dwarf movie, however the notion of having Kochanski join the cast as a regular was originally planned back in Series II but the idea was dropped. Trivia * At the start of Series VIII, Kryten's nanobots not only rebuilt the ship, but also resurrected the crew. However, although Kristine Kochanski was one of the crew members who was perished aboard Red Dwarf in this main universe, she was not resurrected. Despite her differences, the alternate Kochanksi is accepted by the resurrected crew as their own. * In Last Human, following being reunited with Lister as an aged couple in a world where time runs backwards (following the death of Dave Lister in the 'real' universe), Kochanski and Lister have entered into a loving relationship with each other. Now part of the Red Dwarf crew, Kochanski is in a clear position of authority as the highest-ranking member of the crew — a fact that Rimmer mildly resents (being the only one she ever seems to boss around). The novel ends with Kochanski and Lister, stranded on an idyllic world in an unknown parallel universe, attempting to start a family with help from the Luck virus. Category:Alternate Reality Category:Main Characters Category:Characters Category:The Tank Category:Series VII Category:Series VIII Category:Back to Earth Category:Alter-egos